March 27th, 2012 by jeffbahr

Opening Friday at Carmike are “Mirror, Mirror” and “Wrath of the Titans.”
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Chris, the manager at Carmike, says “The Hunger Games” is drawing people from 15 to 55. Actually, he says they’re even younger than 15.
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Brad Wilson is so smart he could easily make murder look like an accident.

“Oh,  I have — I mean, I could,” he says.
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Mondell believes parallel earths exist. He told Michelle there’s another Michelle out there.

“Well, I hope she’s having a better day than I am,” she said.
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The South Dakota premiere of “Gone With the Wind” was at Aberdeen’s Capitol Theatre.

You can look it up.
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Calvin flew all the way to New York for a haircut last weekend.
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Ace reporter Jeff Natalie-Lees says a store in Lakewood Mall will announce Thursday that it’s closing.
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Canterbury says it has the best sliced pork sandwich in town.

Priced at $1.87, it’s available Wednesday and Thursday from 11 a.m. to 2:30 p.m.
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Isaiah Vilhauer said recently that it smelled like updog.

“What’s updog?” somebody said.

You know the rest.
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SuperCity Mall, which opened in 1964, was the first mall in South Dakota.
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People are flocking to see “The Iron Lady,” which has been held over for five more nights beginning Monday, April 1.
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The Harlem Ambassadors will be at the Strode Center Thursday and Mobridge Friday. Thursday, there’ll be a postgame party at TapZ.
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Holly Hoffman will have a book out in late May or early June.

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Aberdeen’s friendliest sportswriter said that like all journalists, she sometimes makes mistakes.

“Although I haven’t killed anybody off lately,” she said.
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South Dakota native Hailey Steele got the boot from “The Voice” this week.

A close observer of reality shows, who lives in Groton, says Hailey pouted about her dismissal.

“That turned me off,” says the observer, who’s a very good friend of Cassandra’s.
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Dr. Sanjay Mukerji is the only plastic surgeon who has ever lived in Aberdeen.

Not all of his patients have Moccasin Creek membership. He says he works on a lot of farm wives.
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Scott Waltman has so many friends that we’ve come up with a nickname for Rob Garofalo:

East Coast Rob.
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Roncalli elementary students sometimes use nearby Central Park for recess.
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Tim Miles’ in-laws now live in Watertown, so he doesn’t get to Aberdeen much anymore, he told Ryan Deal.
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Miles’ conversation with Deal was interrupted by Miles’ first-ever conversation with Darin Erstad.
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Calvin sometimes has banana peppers on his Domino’s Pizza. He thinks the $1 extra is worth it.
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Some people call rebounding dynamo Kevin Love “The Love Machine.”
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On Monday, I went to Maverick’s for the first time. I can see why people like to go there for lunch.
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This is why it’s tough being a guy: Keeping your wife happy is truly impossible.
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Elissa Dickey had her second child.
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The Roncalli boys have gone to the state basketball tournament three years in a row for the first time ever.
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New Twins announcer Cory Provus comes with a distinctly National League view.

Somebody needs to tell him he’s not with the Brewers in Arizona anymore. He sounds like he’s never even been to Florida before.

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Will says Flo from Progressive was first seen on “Mad Men.”

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I don’t do Turbo energy drink. But I might consider TurboTax.
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Before last Thursday’s ESPN game, Terry Francona ran out of gas on Interstate 75 while driving to Fort Myers, Fla.

He and broadcast partner Dan Shulman pushed the SUV to a safe parking spot while staffer Claire Smith steered.
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In World Cup baseball, Germany will led by Twins prospect Max Kepler.
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Funds raised at Roncalli Monday will go toward purchasing chimes and Orff & Rhythm instruments.

What are Orff & Rhythm instruments?

March 24th, 2012 by jeffbahr

Sources deep inside the sports department say Aberdeen is no longer in much danger of losing the State B boys’ tournament.

Common sense is starting to prevail in the corridors of SDHSAA power.
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Mondell says he’s never seen Pizza Ranch as busy as it was Friday night.

“As soon as they put the food out, it all disappeared,” Mondell said.

We have 1,250 young wrestlers in town.
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I don’t know if it’s because of the wrestlers or because I’m normally not out at that hour. But on Friday at about 4:45 p.m., Sixth Avenue was pulsating with energy.

Aberdeen was as electric as Paris, Manhattan, Rome, south Fargo or any other world capital.
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Bar hopping isn’t that difficult in Timber Lake, Hillary says, because the town has two bars.

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Don Dix also does a Harry Jasinski imitation. I bet lots of people can imitate that bark of his that made a game dramatic and exciting.

Maybe the Wolves Club or the Gyps should organize a Harry Jasinski impersonation contest as a tribute to the great man.

In Saturday’s paper, Deb Smith wrote that his voice “sounded like a hacksaw coated with sweet honey.” Harry is gone, but I bet old Wolves will be recreating his sound for many years.
*       *       *

Until I read Deb Smith’s column Saturday, I didn’t know that old and new Swisher Field have the same press box.

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Mike Moe didn’t like it when I asked if he had a season pass at Pirates Cove.

“Didn’t they have a stool out there with your name on it?” he responded.
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Scott remembers a Sioux Falls-Aberdeen hockey game at Holum in the late 1980s that had a lot of tension. It was even declared a forfeit by the referees, only to be played later.

I wonder if my pal Dan Goetz was involved in that turbulent matchup.

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Barber Michael Hurd says flat tops are more popular than people realize.
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A few old area nicknames from the past — Bowdle Bobcats, Frederick Vikings, Doland Wheelers, Hecla Rockets.
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“Roger Miller sounded like he was half-stoned every time he sang a song,” Shawn says.
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Ryan Deal says a dumb person doesn’t know “the difference between a pumpkin and a basketball.”
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Co-workers have given hard-working reporter Calvin Men a nickname. He is Men at Work.
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Mark Remily is running for the Aberdeen City Council.
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This blog may have scooped the world in telling you last week that Tim Miles would become Nebraska’s basketball coach. Miles, I believe, is married to an Aberdeen native.

John Thune is a good friend of Tom Osborne’s. Perhaps Thune put in a good word for the Doland kid.

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This condescending sentence was written by AP sportswriter Eric Olson Saturday about Miles: “He coached at small colleges before taking the CSU job in 2007, and the Rams improved each season.”

Perhaps Eric might want to look at what Miles did at the “small college” in Fargo — wins over Wisconsin and Marquette, and recruiting a team that went to the Big Dance, giving Kansas a rough time.
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At Nebraska, Miles will be making millions of dollars. A local observer remembers when Miles carried out menial duties at the Barnett Center.
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Why does Billy Donovan have more hair now than when he coached Mike Miller?

Maybe Florida did beat Marquette. But at least Buzz Williams has his own hair.
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I believe South Dakota Public Television is in the midst of its longest pledge drive ever. I really think it’s been going for a month.

Maybe that’s how they could afford to bring Uncle Jimmo back.
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The key issue in signing a card in the workplace is finding somebody to pass it on to after you’re done.

 

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Out in the country on Friday, I detected a wood tick on my arm.

I fear now that I’m dying of Lyme Disease. I hope my wife will care for me in my final days.
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A longtime 3M worker says that company almost never accepts the term “accident” as the explanation for a workplace mishap.

There is always a reason, they say. For instance, it might have been inadequate education given to an employee.

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Disney Junior will debut on Midcontinent’s Channel 111 on April 19.
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Paul Dennert is running against Al Novstrup? That’ll be a competitive race.
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I am really tired of the Kent Hrbek Taco John’s commercial. Maybe Herbie like, but I don’t.
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Williston, N.D., now has a Hawaiian restaurant.
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MLB Extra Innings will be free for Midcontinent subscribers April 5-15.
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To get a woman to marry you, you’ve got to let her talk. That can change after you marry her.
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I have absolutely no interest in “Phantom 309” or any other song about trucks, except “Convoy.”

March 22nd, 2012 by jeffbahr

Joe has seen activity at the old Body Shop Bar.

The bar, which was next to the Pirates Cove, closed before the building flooded.

“That place was nasty long before the flood,” Michelle says.
*            *            *
Speaking of strip joints, on Saturday night you can sing karaoke at the Silver Dollar.

 

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Lee Park Golf Course opens Friday.

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I heard Dave Vilhauer say, “Twas ever thus.”

You could call him the Shakespeare of sportswriters.

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Will’s favorite deodorant is “strong enough for a man but made for a woman.”
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Hillary knows that Sheri Gross needs to be contained. “You can’t let her wander around the office wherever she likes.”
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Scott Waltman does a great imitation of Harry Jasinski and Don Meyer.

Shawn does a wonderful Gene Reich.
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According to Scott, Reich once said that a bad Northern free throw shooter going to the line was “as good as a turnover.’
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Brad Wilson gave Tyler, a Nebraskan, a hard time because he said reeds instead of rushes.

“A reed is something in a clarinet,” he said.
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“‘Blues Clues’ is much more fun after you’ve had a couple,” Michelle says.
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An Aberdeen bumper sticker says, “Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.”

On the same vehicle, it says, “Having a job interferes with my plans for world domination.”
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Carly Winter is now a deputy state’s attorney for the county. She was a staff attorney for the city from December 2010 to September 2011.
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Michelle is going to watch the second season of “The Killing,” the mystery that never ends. “I’m going to torture myself for another season.”
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Scott Waltman, a big fan of “Sheriff Lobo,” probably remembers the Claude Akins Poligrip commercials.
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“Never underestimate the knockout potential of Benadryl,” Shawn says. “I guess they have some nondrowsy stuff I could take, but what fun is that?”

 

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Molly at United Blood Services says the best reality show is “The Housewives of Orange County.”
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Michelle thinks kittens are cuter than baby humans.
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I wonder if Aberdeen has a vice king or numbers kingpin.  Do we have a problem with racketeering?

You can tell I’ve been reading a book about the 1940s.
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“I’m fiscally responsible,” Shawn says.
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North Dakota native Shadoe Stevens is Craig Ferguson’s announcer.
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The only problem with Craig Ferguson’s show is Craig Ferguson.

He can make any celebrity seem boring. I wonder how he ever got married. To win over a woman, you’ve got to let her do some talking.
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I would never win a case in the court of public opinion.
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I could never serve on the City Council. I just don’t care about hot mix.

March 20th, 2012 by jeffbahr

Don Gisi is no longer cutting hair at Shear Happiness.

Mike Hurd is renting the building where Don cut hair on South Main Street for decades. Don probably won’t be coming back. Hurd says he’s retired.
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“The Hunger Games” opens Friday at Carmike.

Leaving Thursday are “Safe House,” “Journey 2” and “Wanderlust.”
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“21 Jump Street” was tops at the Aberdeen box office last weekend.

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An Aberdeen food question: Which is better — Thatzza Pizza’s Italian fries or Little Caesar’s Italian Cheese Bread?

Michelle says they are quite similar.
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Aberdeen’s most famous sportswriter isn’t crazy about seven classes of South Dakota football.

“When I have to take off my shoes to count the number of classes we have, it’s pretty bad,” says the venerable sportswriter.

Four of the classes will be 11-man.

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Aberdeen’s friendliest sportswriter says Huron would like to be the permanent site of the Class B girls’ basketball tournament.

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We tip our cap to the great Harry Jasinski. I can still hear him saying “Afa Otuafi.”

Northern coaches used to take prospective recruits in to see Harry, who would seal the deal.
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We are surprised and delighted that Uncle Jimmo is back on South Dakota Public Radio.
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This had to be the first car wash of the year: The NSU rugby team had a car wash on Saturday, which was March 17.
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The Northern baseball and softball teams are scheduled to play at home later this week.

If those games are played, that’s about a month ahead of normal.

 

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Sheri Gross had such a wild St. Patrick’s Day that she wound up with a tattoo.

The shamrock is just temporary, she says.

 

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My wife’s take on Aberdeen traffic lights: “You hit one red light, you hit them all.”
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There’s a rumor that Tim Miles might get hired at Nebraska.

Ryan Deal is against the idea. I think Tom Osborne would be glad to have him.

 

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Brent Nathaniel’s real last name is Duerre. Nathaniel is his middle name.

More Brent Nathaniel trivia: He loves to cook.

 
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My wife detests Spandau Ballet.

Did that group have only one hit?

 

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Waiting for a train, cars were backed up almost past M&H Tuesday at 4 p.m.

 

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I try to start rumors that Dan Richardt’s wife is pregnant.

“You know what would be a good rumor to start? That YOUR wife is pregnant,” Dan says.

 

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Michelle regrets that her brain is accumulating sports knowledge.

She knows, for instance, that a South Dakota native plays for the Colorado women’s team.

“It’s sad that I know that,” she says. “I would rather fill those bits of memory with cat stuff.”

 

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“I think pets in general are a little overrated,” says my wife.

 

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“It is other people’s children that make me this way,” says Grant Manhart.

 

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Sheri is a little upset at her hairdresser.

 

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Something I learned from looking at a Chris Heier painting: A wolf makes better eye contact than I do.

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A young producer working on CBS’ political desk in Washington is named Walter Cronkite IV.
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There’s no shortage of places selling fair trade products in Aberdeen.

Most of them are on Main Street.
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Marquette has made the Top 16 two years in a row.
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Steve Karrigan and I aren’t quite sure how much to tip a barber.
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I’ve been here 16 years. And I still haven’t been here half as long as Carla Ronning has.

March 15th, 2012 by jeffbahr

Gallery Go on Main/Mattress Matters is offering guided meditation on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.

You’ll have a chance to meditate on a mattress. The class opens at 8:50 a.m. with 20 minutes of stretching, followed by 30 minutes of meditation and 20 minutes of conversation.

The goal is to “build a community of happy minds.”
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Brad Wilson didn’t put any money on the Big Dance. He won’t even fill out brackets.

“Gambling’s illegal,” he says.
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How fitting, during St. Patrick’s week, that the American News athlete of the week is Presley O’Farrell.
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Why are so many women interested in Wings hockey games?

Michelle says it’s because the guys are cute and they like to fight. Women like the bad boy element, she says.
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But women don’t like the fact that some players are missing teeth.

That’s “icky,” Michelle says.
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My wife’s only requirement in searching for a husband is that he had a full set of teeth.

“The ONLY requirement?” she says skeptically.

Well, that was the only real dealbreaker.
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I really thought I knew Dave Vilhauer.

But on Wednesday, confronted with a wide choice of pies, Dave chose coconut.

Why would anybody eat coconut pie?

“Because it’s good, that’s why,” says Will, another man who has no pie sense.
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I told golf nut Mike Ferguson that he should golf with Angie Everhart, Cheryl Ladd and his knockout wife.

But Mikey is content golfing as a twosome.

“My wife is much prettier now than Cheryl Ladd or Angie Everhart ever was,” says Mikey, who’ll take his scorching bride to Augusta next month.

*        *         *

My wife, meanwhile, has a picture of our three kids in her office, but her husband’s photo is nowhere to be found.

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Sully Buttes’ cheerleading coach, Lynn Senftner, brought us a tray of chocolate chip brownies. That was very nice of her.
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I didn’t know Sully Buttes has been to the State B boys tournament eight years in a row.
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I bet a guy who owns a Masters jacket knows what to wear on Saturday.
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There is dome in Plymouth, Minn., that hosts college softball games.
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I remember when Sully Buttes coach Brian White played for the Smittys.
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A character on “Freaks and Geeks” says the only good things that happen in life take place in bars.

I think they happen in doughnut shops.
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The best thing about “The A-Team” is the music.

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Sharon Osbourne and Leah Remini are having a war of words. Guess whose side I’m on.

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The only Osborne I like is Tom.

 

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I can’t get the image of Scott Nagy’s bare feet out of my mind.

Why can’t basketball coaches just wear normal shoes year-round?

 

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The NAIA men’s basketball tournament is still held at the dusty old Municipal Auditorium in Kansas City, which Bob Wachs knew so well.

Brad Wilson says Wachs had a beautiful head of silver hair.
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I honestly think Northern basketball fans don’t give a darn about Division II postseason play if the Wolves aren’t involved.

If there’s a Northern Sun team still involved at the national finals, then Wolves fans might care a little.
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Will predicts that at Syracuse, Jim Boeheim will “go out in a blaze of infamy.”
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Maybe Marie Osmond did lose some weight. But she also visited a plastic surgeon, who put some of that weight in her upper lip.

March 14th, 2012 by jeffbahr

Sources say Saturday night’s Wings-Alexandria hockey game included a real donnybrook of a fight.
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I saw a robin on Sunday, which was shockingly early. Normally, I don’t see my first one until about July, because I never go outside.

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Why do people like eyes in their ice cream at Twist Cone?

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Rolling Hills Golf Club opens for the season on Friday.
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Aberdeen’s friendliest sportswriter doesn’t really care how teams do at a state tournament.

“It’s really just a matter of whether I go to the Olive Garden in the evening or the afternoon.”
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Beware the Ides of March.
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Experts think we’ll still have at least one or two more skirmishes with snow.
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Shawn says a cell phone caller was talking so loudly at the library Wednesday you could’ve heard her at Kessler’s.
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I thought Will was fairly normal until Wednesday, when he started raving about banana creme and coconut pie. Blechhh.
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Kessler’s has a gluten-free aisle? Why didn’t anyone tell me?
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I have an appointment with a plastic surgeon. But I’m going to interview Dr. Sanjay Mukerji, not get a tummy tuck.
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What in the world is a false map turtle?
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C. C. Lee Elementary incorporates John Wooden’s “Pyramid of Success” as a motivating tool for students.

“At C. C. Lee, we strive to be one of the best elementary schools in the country by doing three things well each and every day: 1. Safety and Orderliness. 2. Responsible Citizens. 3. Excellent Students,” principal Eric Kline says on the website.
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People say I look really good in cork wedges.

What can I say? I just wear them well.
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A Campbell County guy said “Say hi to Lois” on the phone Wednesday. He meant Lois Lane.

He must’ve thought he was talking to Clark Kent.
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Joe Johnson says living in Aberdeen, he is hiding from his Iowa past.
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This blog will continue to root for Langford throughout the B tournament, because I like getting favorable comments. And because Langford natives are the best people on earth.
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A department at Northern is now called the NSU Office of Online and Continuing Education.
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I’ll bet you $10 my wife will become hooked on the new Ashley Judd drama series, “Missing.”
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I wish St. Patrick would have driven the Vikings out of Minnesota.
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There’s no need to visit the Riviera. The title of the Roncalli Ball is “An Evening in Monte Carlo.”

You’ll probably see James Bond playing baccarat.

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Clint Eastwood’s family is more musical than I thought. We all know Clint’s son is a musician.

But the E! channel will air a reality series about Overtone, a South African boy band that Clint’s wife manages.

*       *         *

Next year, the History channel will air its first scripted drama series, called “Vikings.”

History says that it has ordered “Vikings” because though “they were the fiercest adventurers of all time,” their story has “never been told.”
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According to a headline on the Internet Wednesday, a Congolese warlord was convicted of using child soldiers.

You can just never trust a Congolese warlord.

March 13th, 2012 by jeffbahr

“21 Jump Street” opens Friday at Carmike.

“Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance” leaves Thursday night.

Yet another Nicolas Cage film, “Seeking Justice,” comes out this week, but it’s not coming to Carmike.

*      *       *

“The Iron Lady” opens Monday night at the Capitol Cinema.

Critics say the movie isn’t that great, yet Meryl Streep won an Oscar.

Apparently you can do a great job of acting in a movie that’s a piece of garbage.
*      *       *
For the first time, Northern’s Big Band Swing Dance will be held this spring at the Dakota Event Center.

In November, it will return to the Ward Hotel Grand Ballroom.

*      *      *

I told Will I was sorry to disappoint him.

“That’s all right. I’m used to your level of disappointment,” he said.

*      *       *

I thought Darla Scarlett was polished and refined until I found out she watches “The Biggest Loser.”

*      *       *

If you ask people where A&W used to be, they all say the old Cartiva location.

Why did Cartiva have such a big impact on this town?

Actually, the site is now home to Fresh Start Credit Sales.

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The sign at that business says, “We accept: bad credit, no credit, bankruptcy.”

It sounds like when it comes to selling cars, they’re very broad-minded.

*      *       *

Experts say White River is guaranteed to finish first this weekend in Aberdeen.

*      *       *

Although they have won it once, I hear the Sully Buttes boys often finish third.

*      *       *

To research airline prices, Aberdeen’s airport manager recommends kayak.com.

*      *       *

The Alexander Mitchell Public Library is creating a foreign language collection that will include Spanish and Korean selections.

*      *       *

In the big dance, look out for Wichita State, Will says. “The Shockers are a little bit too complete for Indiana,” he observes.

*      *       *

Buffalo Wild Wings has 14 different sauces. That sounds like about 10 too many.

*      *       *

In putting his kid to work at basketball games, Aberdeen’s most famous sportswriter says he’s not committing any child-labor violations.

“If the lighting is really bad, you can pass for 16 sometimes,” he says.

*      *       *

If a fight takes place at 1 a.m. in Aberdeen, the odds are good that it will be on the 1000 block of South Main Street.

*      *       *

But here’s an oddity: Sunday at 1:15 a.m. police were called about a fight at 20 Third Ave. S.W., which is Lager’s.

*      *       *

In customer’s bags, Hardee’s is stuffing a coupon sheet that carries an ad for Dish Network and GameFly.com. American commerce has found yet another way to advertise.

*      *       *

Brad Wilson set a new world record on Monday. In the span of one hour, he made three cruel remarks about my weight.

If he had a flaw, I’d make fun of him.

Maybe Burger will tell me where Brad is vulnerable.

*      *       *

On a trip to Mexico, Gretchen went mud-bogging. Sounds like something you might do on Moccasin Creek.

*      *       *

Michelle says people in Aberdeen couldn’t see Fox programming until 1991. So Aberdonians never saw “21 Jump Street” the first time around.

*      *       *

Dan Richardt has lost 40 pounds on Weight Watchers.

*      *       *

The only question about the name of the Sioux Falls arena is this: Will it be named after Sanford or a bank?
*      *       *

Daylight Savings Time was hard on me Monday and Tuesday. Morning came too early.

*      *       *

Jimmy Kimmel doesn’t move into the future unless it involves a DeLorean, plutonium and a Huey Lewis soundtrack.

*      *       *

My two favorite Irish songs are “Danny Boy” and “Too Ra Loo Ra Loo Ra.”

Both can bring a tear to my eye.

*      *       *

Referring to consolation games as the Sunshine Bracket is, I think, a South Dakota concept.                            *      *       *

I don’t care if everybody else likes Jason Segel. I don’t.

What exactly is his talent?

*      *       *

In today’s workplace, we spend a lot of time staring at the spinning beachball of death.

*      *       *

I refuse to stay at any hotel that doesn’t have a concierge. That’s just the way I am.

*      *       *

The Staples Center is fine for the Lakers, Clippers and Grammys, but it’s no place for college basketball. The Pac 12 tournament is leaving LA for Las Vegas.

 

March 11th, 2012 by jeffbahr

I’m not saying this is accurate. But a member of our hard-working street team heard somebody at the Eagles say it cost $8,000 to bring in Williams and Ree.

In their quest to bring information to readers of this blog, members of our street team never sleep.
*            *          *
The 1960s live on in one corner in downtown Aberdeen.

On that corner, we have a natural food store that’s a cooperative, the Red Rooster and a place that’s an art gallery/mattress store.
*            *          *

Spotted Saturday in downtown Aberdeen: a Hepola traveling on skateboard.
*            *          *

On Friday, when we had major computer problems, a co-worker headed over to see Janie, “who’s already grumpy. I can’t make it much worse,” he said.
*            *          *

“I’m an equal opportunity chocolate eater,” Michelle says.
*            *          *

I don’t agree, but a cynical newsroom wag said that $49.50 is a lot of money to see a group that hasn’t had a hit in 30 years.

If you work in a newsroom, you’re going to have to endure ceaseless negativity.
*            *          *

My wife says just before a blizzard arrives, the shelves at Kessler’s are picked clean.

Before last week’s snowstorm, she had to buy a jumbo-sized package of hamburger, because all the reasonable sizes were gone.
*            *          *

Former NBA player Jon Barry says, “I was an average to below average player depending on what family member we ask.”
*            *          *

Sources say the great Al Sebert was effective in keeping the Legion and the VFW together.

*            *          *

The State B boys tournament will be more fun with Langford in it.
*            *          *

The only reason people read this blog is to see if their name is in it.

Isn’t that right, Cassandra, Jen and Benjamin?
*            *          *

People fondly remember the days when Pickle ran the VFW.
*            *          *

Ryan Miller, my favorite Northern basketball player of all time, is an assistant coach on the New Mexico team that won the Mountain West tournament Saturday.

Tim Miles’ team lost in the semifinals of that tournament.

 

*            *          *

Women spend a lot of time in the search for intelligent life among men.
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My daughter says if there were no creeps, there’d be no Lifetime movies.
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A guy who’s been elected once thinks he can be elected to any office.

*            *          *

I think Hillary Beyer, who hates cowboys, will someday find Mr. Right at a rodeo. They’ll meet cute, just like they do in romantic comedies.
*            *          *

I think if a new Aberdeen library is built, computers, rather than books, will be at the center of it.
*            *          *

I spend most weekends battling personal demons.
*            *          *

To watch some basketball games this week, we’ll have to somehow locate truTV.

 
*            *          *

Shawn and I both detest oysters. Someday, we might even try them.
*            *          *

I wouldn’t read Chris Matthews’ book about JFK for all the money in the world.

*            *          *

Apparently, Tony Heier’s body shop is a landmark in Ipswich. It’s the place people cite when giving directions.

*            *          *

A local photojournalist says the WiFi service is great at Odde Ice Arena.

*            *          *

NSU wrestler Matt Meuleners, while refereeing a youth wrestling contest, had to call a pin on Paul Sather’s son, he said on the NSU TV show.

*            *          *

Sanford says its medicine is “considerably different.” How different could it be?
*            *          *

Lots of young people love sportscaster Kevin Harlan, but I don’t. He shouts too much.

*            *          *

Nebraska’s first year in the Big 10 wasn’t exactly successful —a mediocre football record and a fired basketball coach.
*            *          *

Some people should seek treatment for obsessive neatness.
*            *          *

“Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman” is an even dumber show than “Murder She Wrote.” Both of them make the “A-Team” look like intelligent programming.
*            *          *

Olives trees can live to be 2,000 years old.
*            *          *

I’m doing pretty well in competitive yoga. Right now, I’ve got a real shot at making the playoffs.And once you make it to the postseason, anything can happen.

March 8th, 2012 by jeffbahr

Since the summer of 2010, C.C. Croal Post 17 has been home to only the VFW.

After at least 12 years of two groups sharing the building, the American Legion moved out.
*          *           *

Lots of people describe Isaiah Vilhauer as a scrappy little basketball player.

An expert free throw shooter, he wins lots of pop at area halftime contests.

 

*          *           *

Many observers, though, think Dave has the kid do too much of his work at basketball games.

The poor kid doesn’t even get much pay. “Give the kid a brownie and it goes a long way,” Dave says.
*          *           *

“I probably am your most loyal, oldest reader,” proudly confirms Cassandra Brown, who is in the height of reality TV season.

“Everything is sooo good,” she writes. “Biggest Loser” is still her favorite, “but I don’t have a favorite contestant. Hope your desk is clean.”
*          *           *

When my computer screen was yellow, Will said, “Jeff’s computer has jaundice.”
*          *           *

Scott Waltman is glad he didn’t watch the Jackrabbits win in person.

“I would have gotten kicked out of the arena for swearing,” he says.
*          *           *

In April, most round-trip airline tickets from Aberdeen to Minneapolis are priced at $212.                                                     *          *           *

The folks at Northern aren’t happy that Kansas tickets go on sale the Friday of the State B basketball tournament. Parking near the NSU Bookstore is a concern.
*          *           *

Once they get past the Millstone, I believe that 80 percent of all eastbound cars are going to Walmart. Or maybe Target.
*          *           *

Insiders say the Golden Eagle girls might finish fifth in Brookings.
*          *           *

Manley Feinstein is still alive.
*          *           *

Not only does Timber Lake native Hillary Beyer detest Faith, but she also doesn’t like cowboys.
*          *           *

Most close calls in Aberdeen traffic are caused by drivers making last-second decisions to stop at a fast-food place.
*          *           *

You’d think our new pizza place is called Hot and Ready. I don’t see a lot of signage that says Little Caesars.
*          *           *

Jen Rider is a big supporter of the Aberdeen Girl Scouts program.
*          *           *

Jim Wooster says buffet is a French word that means, “Get up and get it yourself.”
*          *           *

My wife’s personal assistant is not Siri. She says her entire phone is her personal assistant.
*          *           *

Sources say the Cougar girls’ hockey team scored just one goal at the state tournament held in Aberdeen.
*          *           *

Every time I go home, Poppy Montgomery is on the TV screen. Or “The Mentalist.” Or “Person of Interest.”
*          *           *

I finally discovered a Van Morrison song I like — “Someone Like You.” It’s not angry and pretentious.
*          *           *

Why was my shirt made in Sri Lanka? Is that country known for making good shirts?
*          *           *

I’m worried that USD’s athletic director might fire Dave Boots because he had one mediocre season.
*          *           *
Question: Name two things that last 90 minutes.

Answer: A movie and a meeting of the Aberdeen Airport Board.

 

*          *           *
My dream is to dance in the fields of glory.
*          *           *

Smart people use kayak to make their travel plans.

 

March 6th, 2012 by jeffbahr

Coming to Carmike Friday is “John Carter” in 3-D.
*       *        *
“Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy” runs until Tuesday night downtown.
*       *        *
“Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax” was No. 1 at Carmike last weekend.
*       *        *
The Shrine Circus has cut its longtime ties with Carden International.

Local Shriners are now working with a circus run by George Carden’s ex-wife.
*       *        *
The Rideline shuttle to Summit is in jeopardy because Jefferson Lines is halting its bus service between Sioux Falls and Fargo.

One solution might be to run the Rideline shuttle to Jamestown, where people can catch an eastbound bus to Fargo or Minneapolis, says city transportation director Mike Wilson.
*       *        *
You can have the fish taco at Taco John’s. I’m just not interested.

I would rather eat greasy fish and chips.
*       *        *
I bet Northern’s new athletic director was rooting for Western Illinois against the Jackrabbits.
*       *        *
One of my favorite movie teams is the Texas State Fightin’ Armadillos in 1991’s “Necessary Roughness.”

Maybe UND should change its nickname to Fightin’ Armadillos.
*       *        *
Happy 26th birthday to Bryan Bahr.
*       *        *
Two businesses in town sport Mattress Matters signs — the original business and the new one on Main Street.

The sign will come down eventually at the Sixth Avenue location.
*       *        *
Carla says, “I still have good hair. It’s just that it keeps changing color on me.”
*       *        *
Scott Waltman raves about Bob’s Diner in Sioux Falls.
*       *        *
Speaking of Sioux Falls, that is now the home of Cassandra Brown, perhaps this blog’s oldest fan.
*       *        *
Will says Grain Belt is one of the better cheap regional beers.
*       *        *
Ryan Deal says the Timber Lake-Faith rivalry is bigger than Duke vs. Carolina.
*       *        *
Northern is getting ready to announce ticket details for the April 29 Kansas concert.
*       *        *
Weight Watchers’ diet allows Dan Richardt to eat a Southwest chicken salad at McDonald’s.
*       *        *
Carmike still owns a projector, but has now switched entirely to digital films.
*       *        *
Sheri Gross denies that she is switching to Catholicism. But there is too much evidence to the contrary.

In addition to eating fish on Friday, she’s rooting for Notre Dame football. It’s just a matter of time until she enters the convent at PC.
*       *        *
One Aberdeen diner likes to eat his fries with the horsey sauce at Arby’s.
*       *        *
Here’s my Little Caesars advice: Stay in the car, order Crazy Bread and at the drive-through window and Italian Cheese Bread and drive away.

The Pepperoni Cheese Bread might also be worth investigating.
*       *        *
There is always one Nicolas Cage film playing at Carmike.
*       *        *
Will likes movies where disturbed individuals “murder people and eat their faces.”
*       *        *

Charlotte Rampling says the best art comes from facing fears and pushing boundaries. That must mean that a cannibal film is art.
*       *        *

A Minnesota/North Dakota accent is heard most clearly in the “o” sound. To test if you have one, say when you were home in Dakota you went to Shopko.

 

*       *        *

On the weekend, radio sportscasters say Tiger Woods is nine shots off the pace, but they don’t say who’s ahead.
*       *        *

Women force my two sons to go to Jennifer Aniston and Reese Witherspoon films.

Don’t we each have free will? Isn’t that what the philosophers say?
*       *        *

A newsroom wag says you’ll never see a vegetarian at Maverick’s.
*       *        *

JC Penney is now calling itself JCP.
*       *        *

Women seem jealous of another woman just because she’s skinny.
*       *        *

Will had a Pink Floyd song going through his head, “which is never a bad thing,” he said.
*       *        *

In the HBO movie, “Game Change,” Julianne Moore with glasses doesn’t look anywhere near as good as the real Sarah Palin.

And I bet Don Meyer would agree with me.
*       *        *

For decades, Warwick Davis was known only as the short guy from“Star Wars,” “Willow” and “Leprechaun.” Now, thanks to Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant, he’s famous.

*       *        *

People in Sioux Falls have a serious inferiority complex, because they know their city will never be as classy as Fargo. The new arena will seat 12,000 people? That facility would already be outdated in North Dakota, the state with the prettiest capitol in America.