February 2nd, 2012 by jeffbahr

It’s true. Rohly’s has free beer every Sunday night.

This Sunday will be the third time folks can drop in for a free one. “It’s tap beer, not bottled beer, but they can have all the beer they want from 8 to 12,” says owner Pat Rohl.

Rohl doesn’t even mind if somebody has a free beer and then leaves.

“I’ve found that once you get somebody in the bar, that’s 3/4 of the problem,” he said.
*         *         *
I simply can’t conceive of Aberdeen without the State B basketball tournament.

But Aberdeen’s most famous sportswriter says the new megapalace in Sioux Falls will likely draw the Big B away from its ancestral home.

The respected scribe predicts that every tournament — basketball, volleyball, wrestling — will migrate to Sioux Falls.

*         *         *

As I say in response to most things, “That’s not the way they do it in North Dakota.”

Even though its largest city has a building that surpasses anything Sioux Falls could ever imagine, in the Peace Garden State tournaments rotate.
*         *         *

Justin Sanford, the second candidate to interview for the Northern AD job, presented a spiral-bound 30-page booklet about himself, specially customized for the Northern position.

Inside he has a 30-day plan, a 60-day plan and a 90-day plan in place if he gets the job.
*         *         *
One of the things Mayor Mike Levsen worries about is that “we’re running out of pheasants.”

On the drive to Pierre, he says, there are fewer pheasants than he used to see.
*         *         *

Dawn Seiler refers to her defense as an “amoeba,” according to Aberdeen’s friendliest sportswriter.
*         *         *

Ryan Deal actually went looking for our copy of the Mobridge Tribune this week.

“I expect it on my desk next Thursday, though,” he said.
*         *         *
A lot of people are wondering if Brad Wilson saw his shadow on Thursday.
*         *         *
Around here, a ground hog is called a woodchuck.
*         *         *
I hope my wife thinks of me as honey. But I’m afraid she equates me more with mustard.
*         *         *
Some people say that Aberdeen has more bike/walking paths than Sioux Falls or Rapid City.
*         *         *
I was worried about Dan Richardt, who was clearly in a slump. But he kept his head down and believed in himself. Now the former ace business reporter is back.

Once again, we can count on him for the hot scoops.

*         *         *
McDonald’s new McBites aren’t too bad. They’re a whole lot more natural than McNuggets.
*         *         *
Dave Vilhauer says he’ll never again speak at the annual convention of the South Dakota Funeral Directors Association.

“They won’t have me back. There was too much dead time,” he says.
*         *         *
Barry and Monica Eske spent a week in Mexico.

Did it help their marriage?

“No,” Monica says.
*         *         *
We bid a fond adieu to golfer Dean Shortridge.
*         *         *
We have established that Christopher & Banks is the store that remains at Lakewood Mall after the merger.
*         *         *
A local journalist says a family can make the scuzziest character in the world sound like a saint in his obituary.
*         *         *
“The ’70s and ’80s were just the period during which the best soul music was created and the best records were done,” Don Cornelius told the Los Angeles Times.
*         *         *
I’m so lonely during my wife’s absence that I’ve even discovered “Freaks and Geeks.”

So that’s where Seth Rogen and Jason Segel came from.

January 31st, 2012 by jeffbahr

The folks at the Capitol Theatre are thrilled to have “The Artist” beginning Friday. The movie will probably be there for two weeks.

*          *          *
“The Woman in Black” and “Chronicle” open Friday at Carmike. Leaving Thursday are “Haywire” and “Contraband.”
*          *          *

What are the odds? Northern does “The Drowsy Chaperone” in October. Now Central is doing it as its one-act play.
*          *          *

What’s Dirk’s Bentley?

“That’s what the star of the Dallas Mavericks drives,” Scott says.
*          *          *
Angelia raves about the broccoli salad at Kessler’s, which is made with onions, bacon, sunflower seeds and raisins.
*          *          *
Because I’m afraid of anything new, I avoid the new salad bar at Kessler’s.

I go in the other door. I don’t even want to see it.

*          *          *
Man about town Scott Waltman says quite a few families go ice skating indoors on Sunday evening.
*          *          *
Forget about Bruce Jenner. To me, the big name at the Boys & Girls Club Awards Banquet Feb. 18 will be Phil Schreck.

Phil is my favorite Sioux Falls meteorologist. He’s not just a meteorologist. He’s KSFY’s senior meteorologist.
*          *          *
Why did Heidi Klum drop Seal? I think it’s because he was forever barking, and because he was always asking Heidi to put a beach ball on his nose.
*          *          *
Shawn says old athletes don’t fade away. They just wind up in the City League.

*          *          *
Until reading a story today by Aberdeen’s friendliest sportswriter, I didn’t know Aberdeen Central is the sixth-biggest school in the state.
*          *          *
Mark Ovenden has a gluten-free lifestyle.
*          *          *
What’s Slackers like? “It’s like the Red Rooster grew up and walked across the street,” says Scott, who says the place has a good beer selection.
*          *          *
Right now, in South Dakota, you can shoot cottontail rabbits and tree squirrels.
*          *          *
If you ever need to find me, I’ll be at Ken’s SuperFair Foods.
*          *          *
This is the time of year when you’ve got to start worrying about a canopy collapsing.

*          *          *
Ron Schwab of Wendy’s recently had a bypass operation.
*          *          *
Princess Diana’s royal wedding gown is at the Mall of America through June 10.
*          *          *
With my wife gone, I’m thinking about becoming an alcoholic.
*          *          *

If I’m picking players for a hockey team, my first pick is Dan Goetz. My second pick is Abby Taffe.

*          *          *
My favorite Jamaican musicologist is Bunny Goodison. Nobody else is close.
*          *          *
‘‘Toasting’’ is a form of Jamaican deejaying that inspired hip hop.

*          *          *
In every edition of “Masterpiece Contemporary,” malfeasance could lead to the toppling of the British government.

Would that really be so bad?

*          *          *
I  wonder if Bob Seger had Aberdeen in mind when he recorded “Main Street.”

*          *          *
I hear you can buy bacon-flavored vodka and cotton candy-flavored vodka.
*          *          *
When Steve Jobs enjoyed music at home, he listened to vinyl.

*          *          *

The nice couple that operated the Daily Grind has left town.

*          *          *
I don’t believe I’ve ever had glad corn. Should I be glad?
*          *          *
I don’t like to brag, but I’m at Level 76 on World of Warcraft.
*          *          *
The last item was a lie.

January 29th, 2012 by jeffbahr

I don’t know why, but the Aberdeen Wings seem to have a lot of female fans.
*        *       *

Groton sources say the annual Carnival of Silver Skates won’t be held this year. The mild winter made it impossible for the youngsters to practice.
*        *       *
Hardee’s now has a steak and gravy platter.
*        *       *

Not everyone spends Sunday afternoons in front of the TV. A hockey team was having an outdoor practice Sunday at Manor Park.
*        *       *
Don Meyer is so skinny now that they should do a new, skinnier bobblehead of him.
*        *       *
How lazy is this: Ryan Deal won’t go looking for the newsroom copy of the Mobridge Tribune. He’ll read it only if someone brings it to his desk.
*        *       *
Referring to Sadie Stoesberg, Curt Fredrickson said Saturday night that a 6-foot-2 player should find a way to get more than 3 rebounds in 29 minutes of play.
*        *       *

Angelia was shocked when Brad looked like he had something important on his mind. It was, she said, “the first time I’ve ever seen him work.”
*        *       *

At McDonald’s, a medium caramel hot chocolate costs $2.60. Sounds pretty good.
*        *       *

At Kmart on Sunday, 10 people were waiting in line before they opened a second checkout.
*        *       *

It’s amazing the number of people that Northern games bring to town. At gas stations and on Sixth Avenue, you can easily see the influx of Minnesota license plates — cars driven by the parents of NSU or opposition players.
*        *       *

Lots of Aberdeen people like to talk about the old days at Auto Dine.

*        *       *

Jen Rider, who now lives in Southern California, was happy when someone brought her chips and salsa from Aberdeen’s Mazatlan Restaurant this week.

I guess they don’t have any Mexican restaurants in California.
*        *       *

Anita says Kevin moves silently, “like the night.”
*        *       *

Some people aren’t sure my wife will return from California. “We’re not sure she’s coming back, and we can’t really blame her,” Ron said.
*        *       *

People in advertising were busy moving on Friday.

I heard Tyler say, “Look Carla — everything I own in a box.”
*        *       *

In a brief newsroom poll, we decided if you could get rid of any month, it would be February.
*        *       *

Some people think the federal government is the solution to every problem. Some think it’s the cause of every problem.
*        *       *

Styrofoam is such a miracle product. Not only does the skinny plastic foam keep your coffee warm, it also serves as insulation in your home.
*        *       *

Mike Miller is just a Kyle Korver wannabe.
*        *       *

How could “War Horse” be nominated for best picture? The reviews all said the movie was flawed and way too long.

Maybe every Spielberg film is automatically nominated.

The same for any acting done by Max Von Sydow, Meryl Streep and Christopher Plummer.
*        *       *

Marilyn Monroe never won an Oscar, but “My Week with Marilyn” got nominated? Life is unfair.
*        *       *

Has anyone actually seen the movie “Albert Nobbs”?
*        *       *

The NHL shouldn’t call it a Fantasy Draft when they’re actually splitting up real teams for the NHL All-Star Game.

A fantasy team is one that never actually plays.
*        *       *

My memories of the Packers-Giants game are still repressed. Only a trained psychologist could retrieve that day’s bitter events.

January 28th, 2012 by jeffbahr

At Lakewood Mall, C.J. Banks merged with Christopher & Banks on Friday.
Some people say that C.J. Banks is a store where teachers shop.

*        *       *

The Daily Grind has new owners. From the sign, it seems like they’re adding a little bit of food, such as bagels.

*        *       *

John Tesh keeps giving out conflicting information. One day, he says eating six small meals a day is good for you. The next day, he says it’s harmful.
Argghhhh.

*        *       *

Downtown Aberdeen has a hippie corner. Across the avenue from the Red Rooster will be Jason Hepola’s new mattress and art shop, in the old Closet to Closet. Directly across the street from that is the Natural Abundance food co-op.
Two doors down from that is Slackers Bar.
Insiders say Slackers has the best jukebox in the state, with music ranging from Nina Simone to Cannonball Adderly.

*        *       *

Scott says people call Slackers the video game bar. From the old Sixth Avenue Gallery, it took the video games, Dungeons and Dragons and Magic the Gathering card games as well as the jukebox, which has been reprogrammed.

*        *       *

My co-workers say that Collin Pryor is the best player on the Northern men’s team. Unfortunately, he’s injured right now.

*        *       *

Jared Hannigan, who’d been struggling, broke out of his slump Friday night.

*        *       *

The Northern men have two foreign players: Trent Zomer is from Australia, and Geoffrey Firmin is from Belgium.

*        *       *

Scott hopes I don’t commit suicide in a very showy fashion — just as self-immolation in Kessler’s parking lot — for just one reason.
He doesn’t want to have to write the story.
I told him if it does happen, I’ll make sure he’s on vacation.
It’s always a mistake to assume that your co-workers actually care about you.

*        *       *

“I’ve learned to suppress my emotion,” Brad Wilson says. “Spock taught me that.”

*        *       *

At the “I Hate Winter” game Feb. 18, people who win a contest get to watch the game in a hot tub.

*        *       *

The guy who creates the popular “Annoying Orange” videos on YouTube is from Harwood, N.D.

*        *       *

Four and a half hours for a tennis match seems a little long.

*        *       *

I’m beside myself with curiosity waiting to see if Matthew Crawley winds up with Lady Mary on “Downton Abby.” She’s so much better for him than Lavinia.

*        *       *

I’m glad I’m not married to Doris Burke. I don’t think she’d ever stop talking about basketball.

*        *       *

Doris and Jay Billas cannot stop talking about ball screens.

*        *       *

I believe that most acclaimed film directors are actually nuts.

*        *       *

Rick Gosselin of The Dallas Morning News points out that the Cincinnati Bengals drew fewer than 50,000 for five of their eight games. The stadium holds 65,000.
The Miami Dolphins’ stadium has a capacity of 75,200. Half of their games this season drew fewer than 60,000.
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers’ seven home game drew an average attendance of 56,614.
Buffalo drew only 45,112 for its home finale — one of three sub-60,000 crowds this season in its 73,000-seat stadium.

*        *       *

The St. Louis Rams will play one game in London each of the next three seasons. The Rams drew an average of 56,394 fans last season.

*        *       *

Unlike hip people, I use canned whipped cream only on my food.
I try to avoid whip-its, poppers and snappers.

*        *       *

You can tell Verne Gay of Newsday was a big fan of Marg Helgenberger on “CSI.”
“When we first met Catherine, she had a shoulder-length bob, an adorable daughter and a gee-whiz, can-do, gosh-golly, go-get-’em brio that belied the back story we came to know so well,” he wrote.
“Over the years, Catherine hardened: Those dark enigmatic eyes narrowed, while the cynicism — and glam — grew along with the gorgeous locks. Then, almost before anyone knew it, Willows — and Helgenberger — became the bedrock of this classic series, as commanding a presence as few actresses have ever been on a cop procedural.”

*        *       *

As for me, I think she’s just a Nothingberger.

January 25th, 2012 by jeffbahr

Opening Friday at Carmike are “Man on a Ledge,” “The Grey” and “One for the Money.” I still have trouble accepting Liam Neeson as an action film hero.

*       *      *

“A Dangerous Method” comes to the Capitol on Friday.
*       *      *
Michelle’s cats won’t eat Chicken of the Sea tuna.

“They’re very particular about what they eat.”

They do like tuna-flavored catfood. They also like grape jelly and McDonald’s cheeseburgers.

*       *      *
On Tuesday, Brad Wilson asked how much of this nonsnow we were supposed to receive.
*       *      *
Happy birthday to the former Anne Marren.
*       *      *
PC’s last president said that for-profit colleges sometimes showed an interest in buying the college.
*       *      *
Michelle was impressed with the picture of Trevor Plouffe we ran in the paper.

“This guy’s cute. Did you get his number?” she asked the guy who took the picture.
*       *      *
In buying chicken wings, Scott says he is penny wise and pound foolish.
*       *      *
Scott says Dan Gladden was the star of the Twins’ visit Monday night.
*       *      *
I think I heard that Rohly’s has free beer on Sunday nights. I’m not making this up.
*       *      *
“Why have vanilla when you can have chocolate?” Anita says to Scott, who loves vanilla.
*       *      *
On Jan. 17, the Aberdeen City Council had perfect attendance. This past Monday, Jennifer Slaight-Hansen was gone.

*       *      *
Dan Richardt was very nervous during the latter portion of the Giants-49ers game.

His wife suggested that he “go outside and I’ll let you know when it’s over.”
*       *      *

Brad Wilson says that Kate Winslet has the face of “an old prizefighter.”
*       *      *
I’m guessing that the Northern AD candidate who works at a high school had an outstanding athletic career.

I think lots of people will show up at the public sessions to meet the four candidates, especially if they serve cookies or doughnuts.
*       *      *
The TV series “Chuck” mercifully concludes on Friday.

It’s nice that families have had a show to watch. But other than that, Yvonne Strahovski was the only reason to watch the show at all.

What exactly is Zachary Levi’s talent?

*       *      *
I bet the Bruce Jenner tickets are going fast.

In the hoopla over Jenner, let’s not forget Ken Fouts, who started the tradition of bringing in big-name speakers for the Boys and Girls Club.
*       *      *
Steven Tyler makes the national anthem sound like an Aerosmith song.
*       *      *
Forget about the Oscar win. Co-workers say Jennifer Hudson’s best work is in the Weight Watchers commercials.
*       *      *
Sometimes I think men gossip even more than women.
*       *      *
Kim Dosch tells me to face it: My wife isn’t coming back from California.

Janie says my wife probably needed a break from me.
*       *      *
Minot Minotauros is the ugliest hockey name I’ve ever seen.

*       *      *
The Washington Wizards flipped Flip.
*       *      *
Warren Buffet is one of the beneficiaries of the cancellation of the Keystone XL pipeline.

Burlington Northern Santa Fe Railroad is a unit of Buffett’s Berkshire Hathaway Inc. Burlington Northern carries about 25 percent of the oil from the Bakken formation.

*       *      *
The hockey leagues Aberdeen and Rapid City are in are completely different. One is a junior league. The other is pro.
*       *      *
To me, it seems the Notre Dame basketball offense doesn’t have a clue.

But Doris Burke tells me it’s genius, so she must be right.
*       *      *
Hank Stuever of The Washington Post says from the first episode of “Luck,” it “will feel as if you’ve joined a drama that is already several episodes in progress, perhaps even well into its second season, set so completely in the specific realm of horse racing, betting, training and corruption. Something that you might know a little about, or, as likely, know nothing at all.

“In either case, ‘Luck’ leaves you in its stylishly kicked-up dirt. It’s no wonder that one character, oblivious to an exciting twist of fate during the show’s initial race shouts out, “Will someone please tell me what’s happening?!”

*       *      *
On “CSI,” Marg Helgenberger will be replaced by Elisabeth Shue.

Shue will join the cast Feb. 15 as Julie Finlay, an investigator fresh from an anger-management course who also shares a past with Ted Danson’s D.B. Russell.)

*       *      *
Every year, the same people get Oscar nominations — Streep, Close, Branaugh, Plummer, Payne, Malick, Scorsese, Allen. Yawn.

January 22nd, 2012 by jeffbahr

It sounds like the crowd at Saturday night’s Northern game was large.
*      *        *
Unfortunately, Paul Sather felt the Wolves’ energy and effort weren’t very good in the first half, he said on the radio.
*      *        *

Saturday night was “white out” night at Wachs Arena. I wonder if any confused fans brought a bottle of Wite-Out to the game.
*      *        *
Co-workers wondered if Alvin had used his “Ninja-like abilities” to secretly pay us a visit.
*      *        *

I’m the American News reporter imbedded at drive-through windows.
*      *        *

I bet Kristi Noem breathed a sigh of relief when Stephanie Herseth Sandlin announced she’s not running this year.

The smart money says Herseth will try to succeed Tim Johnson.

*      *        *
Ryan Deal says he’s an amazing basketball player. “If I wouldn’t have tore my knee up, I’d have played college ball,” he says.
*      *        *

Family Dollar supplies anything you could ever want.

Now, you can even buy a National Enquirer there.
*      *        *
Until December, the Ford Ranger pickup was manufactured in St. Paul.

Now it’s made in Argentina, Thailand and South Africa.
*      *        *

I was impressed by Adam St. Paul’s sportscast last week on Dakota 105.5.

*      *        *
I awoke today from cryogenic sleep to find that 12 years had passed.

While I was out, did the Vikings win the Super Bowl?

*      *        *
Last Wednesday was the 60th anniversary of Curly Howard’s death.
*      *        *

The director of ESPN’s telecast Syracuse-Notre Dame game was obsessed with showing Jim Boeheim.

While watching the game, I wondered if Notre Dame had a coach.
*      *        *

Gina Carano of the movie “Haywire” is the daughter of former NFL quarterback Glenn Carano, who backed up Roger Staubach and Danny White.

January 21st, 2012 by jeffbahr

I know I’m a little late on this, but Katie Taube has left KSFY.

Maybe she didn’t like the matronly wardrobe they made her wear. She’s now working at a TV station in Wichita.

The woman who replaced Taube, Paige Pearson, is a graduate of Sioux Falls Roosevelt.
*        *         *
The gorilla vacuum store has a new owner.

I wonder if the owner will continue the proud tradition of keeping a gorilla out front.
*        *         *

Michelle says she’s flexible. She can reach pretty far for the remote when she has to.
*        *         *

I have a new excuse for not going on a cruise with my wife.  “Way too dangerous,” I tell her.
*        *         *

Why is Snowfox the name of a Sioux Falls swim team?

Even if there is such a thing as a snowfox, does it like to swim?
*        *         *

Ron Feickert says he’s not just another pretty face. “There’s some depth to this guy,” he says.
*        *         *

“Not too sound egotistical, but I’m a cinematic genius,” Will Elkins says.
*        *         *

Darin Wendt is thrilled that he made Highlights from the Past for the night he scored 22 points a in a Mobridge win over Roncalli in 1997.

Darin was hot from the outside that night. “I couldn’t be stopped,” he says.
*        *         *

Shawn was happy with a Snickers bar he got out of the vending machine.

“They’re normally old, hard and very bitter,” he says.
*        *         *

Ryan Deal and I argue about where true winners come from. I say North Dakota. He says West River.
*        *         *

Will wouldn’t be averse to stretching the truth in writing recommendations for high school students he works with.

“I’m OK with lying to universities. That’s how I got in.”
*        *         *

I can’t decide between Shawn Cable and Shawn Direct TV.
*        *         *

A lot of construction workers stay at the Inn Keeper, often for a week at a a time.
*        *         *
Michelle says even when she was a child, she was allergic to children.
*        *         *
I miss Tribble, the former quarterback, on “Sweet Home Alabama.”

Maybe others don’t. What was the trouble with Tribble?

*        *         *
The cotton candy club sounds like it’s a very big deal at Frederick High School.
*        *         *

“We Bought a Zoo” was still No. 4 at the Aberdeen box office last weekend.

*        *         *

Trapper Joe and Trigger Tommy from the History Channel’s “Swamp People” will attend the Winterfest of Wheels in Sioux Falls Feb. 10-12.
*        *         *

I usually just pretend to be disingenuous.
*        *         *

My wife and daughter are obsessed with “Downton Abbey.”

*        *         *

I think Kelly Ripa misses Regis. The viewers do, too.
*        *         *
SDSU says it began as “a bold idea,” a university for all. It seems to me that most public universities are for all.
*        *         *

Northern, meanwhile, says it offers a private school feel for a public school price.
*        *         *

The Wings’ assistant coach used to play for the Bismarck Bobcats.
*        *         *

On “The Mentalist,” they talk way, way too much about Red John.

Our handsome hero is also getting a little bit corrupt.

*        *         *

The strongest bond known to man is the loyalty that women in their 50s, longtime “Magnum” fans, have for Tom Selleck.

*        *         *

Back in World War I, I served with distinction in the Royal Fusiliers. Our regiment saw a lot of action.

*        *         *

The Kia Soul is a hit, but the Nissan Cube is a flop. Last year, Kia sold 102,267 Souls. Nissan sold only 14,459 Cubes.
*        *         *

Brad Wilson says only an idiot doesn’t know Custer was always accompanied by Irish music.
*        *         *

“The Killing” returns its second season on April 1. The identity of the killer from Season 1 will not be revealed until the end of Season 2.

Producers say that’s how it played out in the series’s original, Danish version.
*        *         *

Looking at commercials for “Hawaii Five-O” and “Alcatraz,” you’d think “Lost” was still on the air. The young people must really love that Hurley guy,  Jorge Garcia.

January 18th, 2012 by jeffbahr

Opening Friday at Carmike are “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close,” “Haywire,” “Underworld: Awakening” and “Red Tails.”
*           *           *
When Kate Beckinsale was a little girl, I bet she didn’t think her greatest legacy would be the “Underworld” series.
*           *           *
Leaving Thursday night are “Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows,” ‘‘Mission: Impossible — Ghost Protocol’’ and “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.”
*           *           *
“Young Adult,” a Charlize Theron film, opens Friday at the Capitol Theatre.

*           *           *
Vital Signz has gotten back together.
*           *           *
Aberdeen’s friendliest sportswriter was at the Golden Eagles Arena last Saturday. While the teams warmed up, some crucial moments of the 49ers’ playoff were shown on the video screen.

“Even the basketball players were stopping and watching,” she says.
*           *           *
I’m completely on the side of Rick Kline. Starting a new football program takes a tremendous amount of attention, and he did it well. I bet he’d still be at PC if Lorraine Hale were still president.

He and USD football coach Ed Meierkort both got a raw deal.

*           *           *

In the old days, Janklow’s body would have been transported around the state on a train for everyone to pay their respects.

*           *           *
When he goes to Hardee’s, Will Elkins mixes strawberry Fanta with Diet Coke. He says the result is thick, sweet and delicious.
*           *           *

Shawn has a new weapon in his arsenal of condiments: French’s horseradish mustard.

He loves it on ham and roast beef.

*           *           *
Is the sauce at Arby’s really called horsey sauce?

*           *           *
Val Wagner of Ellendale is one of those fortunate people who got to go to Honolulu for the American Farm Bureau convention.

*           *           *

A guy who works at M&H says the store lost a lot of money on Christmas because beer sales were prohibited.  (I did not see him at M&H).
*           *           *

Aberdeen’s most famous sportswriter was discussing the idea of having an employee slumber party.

He told Calvin, “I want to see you wear the jammies with the feet.”
*           *           *

Groton fire chief Dion Bahr is a conscientious guy who tries to do a good job. He’s also got a great last name.

*           *           *

Ryan Deal says he’s a team player. “I’m like the Eli Manning of the newsroom.”

*           *           *

Brad Wilson wonders if towns like Hosmer and Eureka have a mafia controlled by Germans from Russia.

*           *           *

Michelle is gaga over the new “Alcatraz” series.

*           *           *

If I married the mother of the new South Dakota Snow Queen, her name would be Candi Bahr.

*           *           *

There was a dark cloud over North America on Monday. The football team loved by millions of wonderful people had lost.

*           *           *

Maybe I did lose a $5 bet to Ryan Deal on the Packers’ game. But at least I pay my debts. Can Ryan say that?
*           *           *
Wisconsin might not have a Super Bowl team, but it is the home of Miss America.

I think she’s the first Wisconsin native to be Miss America since Terry Anne Meeuwsen.

*           *           *

A co-worker says his dog can imitate both a cat and a rabbit.
*           *           *

When “One Life to Live” died, did the town of Llanview vanish?

I wonder what’s going on in Oakdale, now that “As the World Turns” is gone.
*           *           *

Salem, the setting for “Days of Our Lives,” seems to have only about 20 residents.
When there’s a race for mayor, you know that two regulars will battle for it.

*           *           *

Llanview, Pa. The end of the Buchanans and the Cramers, the Lords and the Mannings, the McBains and the Balsams.

There seems to be a lot of man-made lakes in this area.

*           *           *

When you order chicken tenders at Hardee’s, the wait is either six minutes or nothing.

There’s no middle ground. Why is that?

*           *           *

I spend all year looking forward to the Christmas basket of little muffins, made by Perkins, that we get from Aberdeen Community Theatre.

*           *           *
My daughter is going to tell her fiance that she hears things “around the cage.”

If he laughs, then she’ll know he really is the right guy.

*           *           *
“Haywire” marks the film debut of MMA superstar Gina Carano, who plays a special-ops member.

*           *           *

On the Golden Globes, Ricky Gervais described Antonio Banderas and Salma Hayek as “ridiculously gorgeous specimens.”

January 15th, 2012 by jeffbahr

Alyxis Perry, the new South Dakota Snow Queen, is believed to be the first Snow Queen to represent Frederick, where she goes to school, or Westport, where she lives.

Perry, who turns 18 on Monday, is the starting post on the Leola-Frederick basketball team. She also plays volleyball.
*       *       *
Joe Johnson says “Frosty and his goons” can be spotted around town during Snow Queen week.
*       *       *

Northern football coaches were at the AmericInn on Sunday morning, entertaining recruits. One of them was from Groton.

*       *       *
Will says, “Just because I’m talking to people who aren’t listening doesn’t mean I’m talking to myself.”
*       *       *

Father Shane Stevens at Sacred Heart planned to root for the Packers on Sunday.

“Don’t call the rectory. If any of you die, wait until Monday,” he said.

*       *       *
The Northern State University student newspaper ran a very fond farewell to Java City, which had its last day in the Student Center on Dec. 16.

It sounds like the place, run by Stacey Wellman, was very popular. It will soon be replaced by Einstein Bros. Bagels.
*       *       *

Is everybody familiar with Einstein Bros. but me?
According to Wikipedia, there are 587 Einstein Bros. locations. The first one was in Utah.
*       *       *
A former NSU athete says Curt Fredrickson is one guy who likes a buffet.
*       *       *

Foreign exchange students think American high schools are ridiculously easy.
*       *       *
I’m suffering from award show fatigue.

*       *       *
Stephen Merchant, a pal of Ricky Gervais’, is an outstanding talk show guest. He tells a great story.
*       *       *
Cal Thomas paid a visit to the American News last week.
*       *       *
After Miss Wisconsin was crowned Miss America Saturday night, she said, ‘‘If you’re watching, Aaron Rodgers, call me.’’
*       *       *
I don’t know what I’m going to do without the Buchanans, the Cramers, the Lords, the Mannings, the McBains, the Balsams and the other residents of Llanview.
*       *       *
Many of the story lines on “One Life to Live” were inadvertently unresolved because when the show taped its final episode in November, everyone thought it would be picked up and shown on the Internet. But that deal is off.

The show had 43 years to tell its stories, and still couldn’t wrap things up.
*       *       *
Subways in Canada sell an egg salad sandwich.

*       *       *
I don’t think I’d look that good in a poofy dress.
*       *       *
Did anyone north of Memphis give a darn about the LSU-Alabama football game?

January 14th, 2012 by jeffbahr

Beginning Jan. 27, Jason Hepola is starting a Final Fridays music effort at five downtown Aberdeen locations. It’ll continue the final Friday of each month.
*        *        *
An Aberdeen policeman who’s conscientious about doing a good job is Sgt. Dale Farmen.
*        *        *
Anybody who thinks Aberdeen airport prices should be equal to Sioux Falls is delusional.

You either swallow 75 bucks to support the local airport or you hit the road. It’s as simple as that.

It’s the same reason that small-town people are urged to shop at their local grocery rather than driving to Aberdeen.
*        *        *

Where does the Barnett Center shuttle pick up and deliver fans?
*        *        *

For a decade, I couldn’t find any new houses in Aberdeen.

I finally figured out that the new houses are on the edge of town, such as behind the auto plaza or at Rolling Meadows, north of the city.
*        *        *

I’ve never encountered a tougher unit than the May Overby PTA.

We should send that group to Afghanistan.
*        *        *

“2:30 on a Saturday is not a good time to be at Kessler’s,” Michelle reports.

If you ever feel like you have no friends, just visit Kessler’s. You’ll run into everyone you know.
*        *        *
I’m very good at pronouncing Ndamukong Suh, but I’m still working on Osi Umenyiora and Nnamdi Asomugha.

*        *        *

On Tuesday, the Aberdeen City Council will discuss a trailer-mounted asphalt hot box and Brown County Landfill tipping fees.

What exactly are tipping fees?

*        *        *

Aberdeen’s most famous sportswriter says he’s pretty good with X’s and O’s.

“I’m not talking about the hugs and kisses variety.”
*        *        *

My wife likes to think I am an earl and she is a countess.

In reality, I am but a humble footman.
*        *        *

Michelle wears gloves when she types because she thinks it’s cold in here.
*        *        *

The new ‘‘CBS This Morning’’is supposedly more thoughtful than‘‘Today’’ and ‘‘Good Morning America.’’

I’ve read that about eight times in my life, every time CBS starts a new morning show.
*        *        *

How will I watch the women’s professional soccer now that the MagicJack team has been disbanded?
*        *        *

Hyundai and Kia share the same parent company.